Missing in Action.

I'm so sorry I've been absent for these few days. The cleanse is going okay. I'm not going to weigh myself for another 5 days and see where it gets me. I want to be really surprised in a good way. The stuff tastes okay. I use Splenda instead of maple syrup so it tastes okay. The maple syrup/cayenne tastes funny (just a warning).
Life is otherwise okay. mom and I fight every so often. She's eating a bowl of pa' nang (Thai curry) right now and I want to yell because the sounds of her eating drive me BONKERS. I want to cry out "stop! Don't eat that! You're fat!" It's never been easy to admit that. My mom is overweight. She's been on thousands of yo-yo diets and none of them have worked. She used to be bulimic, but that clearly worked against her. I'm so worried it will happen to me. I need to beat mia and at least become ana.
God. I can't get along with her for longer than an hour or two and then she just gets angry with me and everything I do makes her mad. I think part of the reason I am so angry with her is because she's fat, because she's loud, because she's angry. She doesn't say please or thank you, she's really lazy. She's always lecturing me about jobs and my spending, but she hasn't worked in 20 years, and just spends thousands on plants for her garden or buys a ton of food at Costco when our THREE! fridges are so full that everything inside goes moldy. Just UGH!
Anyways, sorry about that. I needed to get that off my chest.
I can't wait to start film next year. It's going to be so fun. I can't wait to be in the industry. I want to be top of my class, super involved with the program. I want to aim to be the film program rep. That's my goal.
I've been playing my guitar for a while. I'm getting better. The song I wrote for D. keeps changing, but I can't wait to see him. I love him so much. He means the world to me. I'm thinking when i get down there I confess my ed to him, but I don't think he'd react well.
I miss Toronto a lot. I'm so depressed and fat when I'm in Ottawa. I can't wait to get back downtown.

Anyhow, precious workout time is being wasted. Sorry about the super emo post today. I promise tomorrow will be better.
xoxo GG. (K.)